I Heard God's Voice

I was struggling recently with a decision and decided to do something I haven't done in awhile, which was to pray and ask God for guidance. Now, before my "I seek the Lord about every decision" readers write accusing me of being a pagan or reprobate, let me explain. I know myself to be utterly reliant on God for every breath I take and move I make. I just don't go around prefacing everything I say and do with words like "The Lord told me..." or "And the Lord showed me..." I did once. (Remember: I am a recovering Pentecostal.) But after years of noticing the way folks use God to rationalize everything from their ignorance, to their intention to have their way, to their fear of making a decision, I swore off saying things like "The Lord told me..." until I was prepared to die for my convictions that I'd heard God correctly.

To return to my earlier point then, I decided to pray about the decision I needed to make.

Imagine my surprise when I heard the words: Go out on your screened-in porch, put your feet up, listen to the Aretha Franklin tunes you've downloaded onto your iPod, and take a nap, um...er...God told me. Not in a loud, thunderous voice, mind you. Not in a husky, male voice either. I heard God's voice, and it sounded like my own. It was my voice like I had never heard myself sound before. Wise. Compassionate. Caring. Comforting. Confident. In Charge. I did as I was told. And sure enough, things worked themselves out. Not that day, mind you. Not that week or that month even. Not like I thought they would. But things worked themselves out like they always do: gradually, slowly, eventually. The answer to my dilemma eventually revealed itself to me. Eventually I figured out what I had to do. Eventually I calmed down and drew on all the love God has ever shown me, all the wisdom I've ever known, all the experiences I've ever had, and all the prayers I've ever prayed -- and made a decision. But first, I relaxed and took a nap. Eventually it comes to you: it's not answers that prayer yields, but a conversation with God who sits patiently, waiting to consult with you somewhere down in your deepest, holiest, and wisest Self..

Renita J. Weems, Ph.D.