So, How Much Are You Worth?
A
Chinese immigrant mother in the movie "The Joy
Luck Club" asks her
preppy adult daughter who's going through a divorce
a question that never fails to catch me by the throat
no matter how many times I watch the movie: "How
much are you worth?" The daughter who boasts
a degree from an ivy league college stares back at
her mother with a blank expression. She's clueless
as to what her immigrant mother means by her worth.
The immigrant mother knew from experience that when
a woman is doubtful or clueless as to her true worth
she's sure to accept less than she deserves. She almost
never speaks up for herself. Why? Because she thinks
she can do no better.
After a particularly demoralizing
experience where I worked hard and was handed a check
for far less than the value of the work I did, I was
flying back home feeling cheap and cheapened when
flipping through an airline magazine I came across
the words, "You don't get what you deserve. You
get what you negotiate."
How much are you worth? Put
away your calculators. True worth can not be tallied
according to salary, savings account, 401k's, and
the number of houses you own. True
worth springs forth more from the intangibles
of life: What you think
about yourself; What you know about life, God, and
yourself that you didn't and couldn't have known 20
years ago; The things you know that you don't even
know how you know them; The wisdom you've gained by
paying attention and by learning the lessons life
teaches.
It wasn't out
of some inflated sense of himself or herself that incited
the psalmist to proclaim, " I am fearfully
and wondrously; marvelous are thy works. And my soul
witnesses to it" (139:14). The psalmist understood
that you don't honor or glorify God by undervaluing
yourself nor by allowing others to minimize your contributions.
So, how does one
go about determining one's worth? Let's just say this:
You can bet that you are worth more than you think.
You are certainly worth
more than what others have made you believe is your
worth.
Renita J. Weems, Ph.D.
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