Everyone has a “hair story”. Currently relaxed hair is seen as a rite of passage for many girls. If there were more “role models” with natural hair then it really wouldn’t be that big of a deal. As an adult, I typically go back and forth–braids in the summer relaxed hair in the winter–not for fashion sake more for comfort and ease (I love swimming and working out). It is a blessing that my mother when I was younger and my hair dresser now both have great respect and talent for hair in all of its textures and styles (and colors)

as to what we can do to help black girls love the hair that God gave them..i think the answer is multi-factorial:

1) the people raising these girls must develop an afro-centric standard of beauty

2) self-esteem is a good thing to embrace who we are, so i think that after we develop an afro-centric standard of beauty, we must develop self-esteem to cultivate acceptance of self.

3) demonstrate what you speak…wear a natural style yourself

4) surround your girl with positive successful people who wear a natural

5) compliment her on how she looks with her hair natural, as well as how good other girls look who wear a natural style

i wore natural hair for about 2 years and then got tired of getting it cut. then i rocked dredlocs for 8 years, now i have a fro’ that i keep in braids for now. i must admit i changed my hair hoping to fall in love with my dream man, but it has not happened, so i might as well make myself happy, and not let HAIR stand in the way of exercise! know what i mean?) locs here i come! (again)

Well, when you raised the question if the “handlers” (for lack of a better word) were dressing Mrs. Obama like jackie O, all hell broke loose (as you know, no one can say anything about the Obamas) Now that you have raised it, I just took a look at those little girls’ hair and I am seeing it in a different light. Maybe, just maybe, they are being presented in a certain light as november draws closer.

What do I know? I have a ton of hair that I am afraid to deal with so I get it twisted, braided, permed, streaked by someone else. I still carry the scars of being a tender headed child whose relief came in the form of a pressing comb but the hair was never silky in the end anyway. And I am the mommy to two boys. What do I know?

I will be the first to chime in here. I will start off by sharing a personal story. As a child, I was introduced to ther perm/relaxer at the age of seven. Since that time, it became a ritual of mine to get my hair “relaxed”. My mom was tired of putting me between her knees and having me skirm while she attempted to comb/braid my hair. Now at the age of 44, I want to go natural. Due to all the years of “straightening” my hair, it has a texture that is “straight” on its own. All she does is wash, blow dry and curl my hair. It now takes less than an hour to do my hair.

I applaud Rev. Weems for bringing this to our attention in connection to little girls because she is correct. Somewhere, black girls are believing that they have to have straight hair in order to be accepted. I have learned that my hair is my hair. Nappy and all and if my mom had a different approach to it, perhaps I would have as well.

Hopefull, this makes sense as a first post. I couldn’t resist sharing what happened to me as a long term affect of having my hair straigthen.

i’m sure there are many stories of how we used to sit between mama/nana/big mama/big sis/auntie’s legs and endure pomade, vaseline, whatever the name of that blue hair grease was, etc., etc., — not to mention the ever-loving sizzle of the straighten comb — to get our hair to look “right/tamed/good” — all of those phrases that have left an indelible mark on our psyches.

there are different standards for women/young women/children of color depending upon the social field which we/our parents/guardians enter — i.e. politics, legal, entertainment, religion, medicine, sports — and unfortunately, what works in one simply DOES NOT work in another.

all one has to do is look at the media identified “role models” to which these young women/children (and adult women) are exposed. IS there a role model of ANY age that is wearing a natural crown? do we celebrate (for instance) jill scott and erika badu more for their natural crowns, singing, or [possibly] both? if we allow our children/our selves to wear our natural crowns, are we prepared for the “can i touch your hair/what does it feel like/why do you wear your hair like that” questions?

then…there’s the flip side…for those who change hairstyles on the regular…is it just a case of how they happen to feel at the moment?

Well, I just got the Essence featuring the Obamas and their daughters with the “first-day of school or the Sunday-morning press.” Thanks for the other picture with braided hair.
In addition to issues of self-acceptance, our hair continues to be a politically charged issue. Remember in the ’80s when a sister had to sue to wear braids on the job? I’ve been wearing locs for eight years now. Should I tire of them, I’ll cut them and go to another natural style.
As T says, every one of us has a “hair story.” One of my friends recalled having her hair pressed every Saturday night in order to look good for Sunday morning worship. She grew up thinking that she would be unacceptable to God if her hair was nappy. She shared this at the beauty shop(an agency of socialization for Black women!) over twenty years ago. It has stuck with me because it is the saddest “hair story” I’ve ever heard.

ya’ll please give little malia and sasha a break! remember what it was like to get your hair pressed for church on sunday or for school pictures? that meant you were able to wear a “big girl” style, not the everyday braids on ponytails that mom insisted on monday - friday.
lets face it: sasha and malia’s hair IS NOT a political statement. it only becomes one when WE ADULTS make it one. what is more important is that no little black girl (or grown woman) be told that her hair is too short, too nappy, too straight, too curly, too ANYTHING. the key is that they hear from us that their hair is beautiful whatever way they wear it. the key is that their hair is healthy–and yes, there is just as much unhealthy natural hair as relaxed hair–and that we, as their mommies, daddies and assorted kinfolk love them regardless of the hair style they rock.

Growing up, I longed for long, straight hair. I endure hot combs and burnt ears in order to get it. And then around 12 or so, I think I got my first perm. Why did it happen? Because we have to unlearn what we’ve learned about beauty - black beauty. My mom rocked a fro. My godmother rocked a fro but by the time I was born - straight hair was back in. The perm was what all little girls did after a certain age.

I have been natural for 12 years. What can we do to help African American girls (or girls of African descent) grow up feeling beautiful about rocking the hair God gave them? Show them images of women and connect them with women up close and personal who are doing just that.

Inch by inch, everything is a cinch. Take it by the mile, it will be a long while…okay, I know I have this phrase partly correct…forgive me for where I have massaged the phrase a bit:) In the case of the Obamas, I feel they obviously have to make themselves more amenable to the masses i.e. more European…I cannot hate at this point. (I just want to CONGRATULATE in November.) Once they get into the White House, then they can be a tad more revolutionary…i.e. more natural styles for the girls,

However, I am glad the Obama girls have worn their hair in braids and in other traditional little black girl styles on the campaign trail…

I think it’s important to compliment women in front of our girls that wear natural styles…and I think it’s important to stop referring to natural hair as “the kitchen” or “bad hair” or other derogatory terms.” I also think it’s great to have books around with women wearing natural styles. Also, my father made sure that I had black dolls to play with when I was growing up and he told me constantly that “Black is Beautiful,” which I needed to hear as I attended mostly white schools. I could say more but I won’t…
Thanks!

Bettysmom,

This is a blog with a largely black female audience. Hair is very much within the scope of the many, many things we talk about here on this blog.

As adults what we tell little girls like Malia and Sasha is one thing (”You are a beautiful little girl. You go girl.”).

But as grown women when we get around the kitchen table and talk woman to woman, we query one another about our choices and tell each other the truth about what we see.

@Jackie
Hair is not (and shouldn’t be) a deal breaker when it comes to the elections, but as black women we know the deal. (By the way, I don’t expect the Obamas to be any more “revolutionary” when they get in the White House. Wearing your hair natural is being revolutionary? Hmmmm.) Regardless, the point here is the message black girls as early as 10 years old get about their natural hair.

Rev Renita, Nappy and Happy hit a cord with me. I have asked that same question myself, why do we as Black mothers feel the need to chemically straighten our little girls hair?!? I am the mother of two sons so I was not confronted with two headfuls of hair to work with. I simply went to the barber shop. However, I feel strongly that we indeed send the wrong message to our girls when we chemically straighten their hair at such a young age. Little Black girls are supposed to wear their hair braided! A special occasion hairdo is one thing, but today’s mothers go way overboard, not only with straightening, but also all of the store bought hair that our little girls wear. What’s all that fake hair about?

Wearing natural hair is not as revolutionary as it used to be…but that’s the general feeling I get as I rock my cherry red dreads! However, since I have dyed my hair, I’m not sure if I am completely natural, but I am unpermed and lovin’ it!!!

@ Bettysmom. Even thought I don’t always feel “political” when I am being my natural self, I have come to accept the fact that when I go out of my house in a natural state, people will believe that I am making a political statement or that I am an “angry black woman.” I was so personally offended by how Michelle Obama was portrayed on the cover of “the New Yorker” because the author deliberately used the image of an afro to convey feelings of anger and hate. Instead, I believe natural hair signifies beauty, elegance. amd sophistication. It’s hard to convince little girls that they are beautiful just the way they are because of these larger forces.

@ Tess- my heart really broke when you mentioned that you believed you might attract a man by changing your hair style. I once dated a guy who constantly asked me whether I planned to straighten my hair in the future (as if I wasn’t natural when we met). I never mentioned that I could just go get it pressed any day I felt like it, lol. Mostly, it makes me angry that the natural texture of my hair is not considered beautiful by mainstream standards. Well, I a guess I am an angry black woman afterall

@ Bettysmom. Even thought I don’t always feel “political” when I am being my natural self, I have come to accept the fact that when I go out of my house in a natural state, people will believe that I am making a political statement or that I am an “angry black woman.” I was so personally offended by how Michelle Obama was portrayed on the cover of “the New Yorker” because the author deliberately used the image of an afro to convey feelings of anger and hate. Instead, I believe natural hair signifies beauty, elegance. and sophistication. It’s hard to convince little girls that they are beautiful just the way they are because of these larger forces.

@ Tess- my heart really broke when you mentioned that you believed you might attract a man by changing your hair style. I once dated a guy who constantly asked me whether I planned to straighten my hair in the future (as if I wasn’t natural when we met). I never mentioned that I could just go get it pressed any day I felt like it, lol. Mostly, it makes me angry that the natural texture of my hair is not considered beautiful by mainstream standards. Well, I guess I am somewhat of an angry black woman afterall

Permed. Pressed. Colored. Weaved. Wigged. Braided. Loc’d. As black women we do it all. As the mother of two girls who are the same ages as the Obama kids, I can say that a press and curl one day does not negate nor define your politics/blackness/sexuality/life. The only rule that i have is that I do not do anything permanent to my daughters’ hair. One day their hair will be their canvas to create whatever they want and I do not want my decision influencing theirs. So braids today, press tomorrow, twists next week.. and so on..

Uuummm…. Ok. Not sure why there is always so much “controversy” and talk around how black women and girls wear their hair. I wear very little makeup. Am I denying my true beauty by using it? What about women/girls who have suffered from alopecia [hair loss] all their lives? Because they choose/have to wear wigs because they don’t feel comfortable running around bald or with bald spots, then are they denying their natural beauty? How about breast cancer survivors? Many of us find that our hair is NEVER the same once we’re in remission but thankful that there’s any up there at all!

Do we really care if the Obama girls are now pressing/perming their hair in preparation for a possible new home at 1600 Penn Ave? Maybe, just maybe, their mom (or grandmom) figured it’s just easier to manage their hair straight. God knows women have enough on their plate without having to deal with spending a lot of time on a little girl’s hair first thing in the morning! Black women are beautiful REGARDLESS of what’s on top of their heads, even if it’s just bald skin. It’s time to be comfortable in the skin you’re in even if the hair on your head was bought at the Korean beauty supply store!

If I was ‘go be’ on Time/Essence/whatever, my mama would have sent me to the salon at 10 too. And I have what other people call ‘good hair’. (Caveat: I think ‘good hair’ is hair that does EXACTLY what you want it to do.) I just spent the whole summer trying to convince teenagers I was ‘just black’ (based on my records) and it is possible to have THIS hair. Unsuccessful.

To answer your question, I didn’t have confidence to go natural until I saw women who were natural IN PERSON. Not on TV or music videos. Confident, smart, respected women that I could touch or talk to. When I wasn’t natural, I still couldn’t maintain the relaxed hair the tv celebrities had b/c nobody else did mine everyday. Since I’ve been natural with fros, twists, bantus, and walk out the house hair, I have had mothers tell me thank you because their daughters consider it positively. Men: Some men like it, other men don’t. I don’t like short men. We’re even.

Since we going texture, let’s throw length into the mix. I could wash and wear before I went natural and have masses of hair and nobody cared, but when I cut it off…the world turned on its axis. The celebration of long hair (grown or bought) is another layer on this battle.

Yes, I press the hair when I go visit grandmother, but that’s grandma…and she has appreciated the fingertip length natural fro, bantu knots, and coils without a wor. I’d say that’s progress…not enough, but progress.

the main concern for me in this whole debate is not about how we wear our hair or how we allow little girls to wear theirs’. my sore point is the appearancec of a “makeover” in order to be acceptable.

i have a head full of thick hair and people who knew me 40+ years ago remember the screams when my hair was being combed or washed. all i wanted was relief and that has nothing to do with me thinking i am more beautiful if i had a perm that allowed me to style my hair as a white girl. i was in pain and i wanted relif. and so does millions of our sisters - young and older. let’s not allow men to tell us we are acceptable if we wear our hair natural. they do not have the problems we have.

we have to do what is best for us.managability is what matters and this is what our foremothers in africa had to deal with. they had their own versions of hair care that made the hair easier to groom. were they being white?

folks, let’s not ignore the nudging concern out there. if the family is being made presentable and acceptable in order to win the electon then we have a major problem.

Dr. Reems and sistahs,

I am the mother of 3 girls (2 boys) and hair is a REAL issue in my house. My now 8 year old daughter has been asking to straighten her hair for a year now and I would not. All of my girls have long hair which is sometimes very unmanageable, however, there is soft and beautiful - which I believe is a God-send, to help mommas out!! I also make it a point to tell my girls they look good whether their hair is all over their head - right after a wash and blow dry -or after it is perfectly groomed.

I also make sure my girls see my hair in its natural state. Modeling at home is imperative to making black girls comfortable with their natural hair. Although imagery is powerful, I choose to believe that as the momma, I am my girls most dominant and powerful image of black beauty…if I love my hair, they will love theirs.

rjw- i do agree with you on this one—we should let our nappy hair be our happy hair but i don’t believe this experience is limited to just little black girls.

i have some curly hair, i mean, genetic mutant of my mother and father, and i am your average white girl. but this hair has been the center of most people’s eyes for my entire life. i am constantly just letting it be, and just by claiming it and love it, i get more attention than i desire about it. there is something to be said about how many girls across the world are conscious of the value they feel given depending on the “look” of the hair on top of their head.

i couldn’t count the number of times i hear “is that real?” “you must hate it” “i’d kill for that hair” now come on–women and men, alike, embrace what you have! that’s all i’m busy doing.

and i hated it as a child—hated it. permed it and straightened it and colored it and cut it and shoved it in every direction. but one day, i wrapped my full arms around myself and claimed i would be just exactly who i am.

i am learning how to be that more and more. that experience is not limited to a child of color, gender, race, class, or circumstance.
that is embracing the One who created us.
that is making a full claim to love yourself dEsPiTe your flaws.
(and believe me: you taught me sooo much about that, thank you Dr Weems, and “What Matters Most.)

Rev. Renita and Sistahs in the Blogosphere,

Check out India Arie’s “I Am Not My Hair” on YouTube. It speaks to this very discussion.

@Tamecia–Talk about the world turning on its axis! When I locked my hair complete strangers felt the need approach me and express their unsolicited opinions as to how they felt about my nappy head. Fortunately, there were sistahs and brothas did the same but expressed encouragement and appreciation! These positive sistahs and brothas gave me an example that I try to emulate.

As India Arie says, I am not my hair. I have worn my hair pressed, relaxed, natural, braided and weaved. Every style except locs. My hair does not define who I am in spirit. Black women are certainly not the only women who change the style and often the texture of their hair. Yet, we seem to criticize ourselves the harshest for doing the same. It is the job of the parents to raise a child with self-esteem. If you raise your child with be proud of who she is and of those who came before her, it will matter not how she wears her hair. If the images the parents admire (and worship?) are only lighter-hued, long-tressed, skinny women, it sends a message to the child about what is considered attractive, beautiful.

I am not my hair!

T

@ Sis. Tre, some of the names are Royal Crown, Blue Magic, Murray’s (for the waves), Grover’s, Dixie Peach I think was another. Later came Afro Sheen, Ultra Sheen, etc.

I’m 51 y.o., and have been wearing my hair natural since I was 12, in 1969 when I first read the Auto. of Malcolm X. I (and my Mom) got tired of being head locked between Mom’s legs while she fried my hair, especially the “kitchen” area on the back of my head. Ouch!!!! Like many others here, I’ve witnessed many changes, debates, “kitchen table” conversations, etc. Hair is still a very political issue with our people and others because self-determination for our people is very threatening to some; self-determination for women, control over every aspect of our physical, sexual, spiritual, mental, emotional lives is indeed still a contested zone.

I don’t have a problem with sisters who fry their hair, but I do have a problem with the multi-billion dollar beauty industry that reaps huge profit$$$ due to our manufactured, continued low self esteem that makes their profit$$$ possible.

Hmmm…here’s a thought…

Maybe…just maybe instead of assuming that Michelle permed or straightened her daughter’s hair…
maybe…just maybe since their grandmother was a white woman…maybe…just maybe through the little tricky antics of genetics and DNA, they inherited hair that actually does not require it to be fried and laid to the side…just thought.

Thanks, Stephanie Alaine, for jumping in and sharing your hair story as a white woman.

Hair matters, and matters a lot despite how much we protest to the contrary. Rephrase: nappy hair matters, and matters a lot despite what black women say to the contrary.

It’s not just about style and manageability. A lot of times it’s also about respectability.

I’d forgotten just how much hair mattered until I stopped wearing a tiny afro a few years back and decided to let my hair do its own thing. Forget what they say about the corporate world being conservative, the church is the citadel of conservative conformity. Hair and respectability go hand in hand in the church.

Imagine the stares and open mouths I encounter when I audaciously mount the pulpit unapologetically sporting kinky hair that won’t lie down and stay put. Let’s just say: Dr. Weems is not your typical image of a lady preacher. It drives (some) male pastors crazy and (some) women in the pews to foam at the mouth. But there’re always those few young black girls with nappy hair who come up to me afterwards to shake my hand who don’t say much, but we make eye contact. Oh, and did I mention that there are the men who are actually fascinated and curious about such a self-possessed woman?. Hmmm…

Of course, I’m not fooled for a moment that my seniority in ministry helps me to get away with what I get away with it.

I don’t know about this Dr. Weems, for the Obamas it’s a darn if you do and darn if you don’t situation. If those little girls are pictured with unkempt hair, it will be black folks yelling the loudest about it.

Every time I see pictures of Angelina Jolie’s baby, Zahara, I always think she has no black friends to hip her how to take care of that child’s hair or to loan her a tiny jar of Dixie Peach, something.

And the only other black female faculty member on my campus dropped her curly weave to wear a semi-fro at this year’s orientation and ALL the white folks thought she was someone completely different. She was of course upset, but classically remarked that they remembered me because I had “light skin” and “good hair.” And she wonders why I don’t talk to her. LOL!

@ Everybody else,

“I am not my hair . . . .” (Perhaps . . .)

But I venture to argue that (Yes) you are your hair. Your hair conveys social cues to various groups of people. It can determine your employment . . . should we hire Big AFRO black sistah who reifies threatening images of Black people. It can determine how people view your sexuality . . . “Hmmp, she must be gay wearing that fade looking like a boy.” Furthermore, it can also dictate if you’re a suitable Senator’s wife who could one day be the first-lady of the US. All in all, your hair (i.e. texture, color, length) connected to your race/ethnicity conveys knowledge albeit information about you . . . your status, class, education, and social group affiliations. So hair matters!

And course, if we’re having a discussion about Black women’s hair and oppression or Black women’s hair and acceptability. its not all textures of black hair that we are fearful of and pray to the Hair Gods above not to curse our beloved black daughters with, its the natural hair that is kinky, nappy, tight curls, the natural hair that takes time to detangle that we prayerfully hope “good” genetics somewhere in our genealogy will remedy. Because we have been socialized by our own experiences, history, and various medias that Black women in of themselves are not beautiful. For many, nappy hair is connected to all types of deviancy, un-classed women, welfare queens . . . every negative stereotype that is associated with Black womanhood.

And if we want to add another layer to this discussion, we must talk about Black women’s skin color and hair texture because once again our hair does not simply exist in a vacuum it is connected to our other social identities like our gender, race and ethnicity, and class . . . as carmel colored Margret Avery in character of Shug Avery who hair is straight/pressed replies to dark chocolate colored Whoopi Goldberg who’s hair is kinky, “You sho is ugly ha ha ha ha,” highlights the complexities Black women’s hair and skin color.

All of this is not to say that one cannot make a conscious decision to to have relaxed or straightened hair, but it is to say that there is a politics of hair and power that we have to be conscious of and critical of when we begin to think that how we wear our hair is simply a matter of choice and style when our choice is really based on power, privilege, respectability, and whiteness.

What does unkempt hair look like on little black girls, Prof. Tracey? Are you referring to braids, plaits, twists, puffs, etc.? Surely not.

You’re right that it probably bothers black people more than anyone else when it comes to the girls’ hair. But Obama’s campaign has moved way beyond trying to mollify black voters. That vote is in the bag.

@H.D. Moon.
Not.

@ Stephanie, I read your response and I feel bad for any girl who has hair and other body features that are unconventionally beautiful. But when white people use language like, “black people aren’t the only ones who..etc,” Because we already know that. We already know that all women have issues over kinky and curly hair, mostly because it is associated with blackness.
And there are certain experiences regarding hair that are limited to black women, like not being permitted by your job to wear you hair in twists or in afros. I want to form a common bond with white women but not at the expense of having my frustrations or concerns invalidated or trivialized.

@H.D. Moon, nope sorry, I’ve seen pictures of the youngest one on days where her hair was just out and natural and it was not laying down on her head or blowing in the wind. But that is a good point, “black women” are diverse and come in all different shades and hair textures so we should be careful not to over generalize.

Re: The Obama daughters, I suspect that it might be their natural texture since they are approximately a quarter Caucasian. Or, it just might fall that way once it’s blow dried. But I do agree that there is no need for a little girls hair to be pin straight. I was at the salon a while back and a young man brought his daughter in for her first wash and set. Mind you, this was a Dominican Salon so you know they are heavy on the heat when they dry your hair. Needless to say, the young girl was crying. Another lady and I explained to him that those driers get very hot and he should request lower heat or end the drying process. He wanted to, but called the girls mother “for further instructions.” She demanded the drying continue since it “was the only way to get her hair to hold a style.” Why on earth are we willing to nearly torture a child in the name of beauty? I just don’t get it.

As long as (an estimated) 80% of black women straighten their hair or wear straight weave looks, we can only expect to see the majority of black girls wearing the same.

Hair and how it is worn is an intensely political statement. I know from (past and current) experience that wearing your natural hair in certain settings truly is revolutionary. Wearing natural hair is a direct and visible rebuttal to the eurocentric beauty standard and that is a huge statement.

A girl’s hairstyle is a direct comment on the attitudes and beliefs of the (usually female) adult who cares for and styles that hair.

Dear All,

I just returned from a motor trip to the southwest, and in every nook and cranny where there are Black women, there are all manner of extensions and weaves. Not nappy extensions or weaves but straight hair hanging down Black women’s backs. False hair and blonde hair. New nappy growth bulging from under plastic hair. As I took all of this in, I could not help but muse over the consequences of white supermacy on our images. Honey chiles hair matter to Black women, so much that we sit for hours to weave false dead hair into our own sabatoging our natural beauty at the altar of whiteness.

Pardon me if I agree with Fal, Rev Mama Africa, Renita and all other sisters who say that hair matters. There is more to this hair thing than we are willing to claim. Its deep and historical. When I cut my hair and went natural in the 60’s the word went out in my hometown that I had gone crazy or why else would I cut my “good hair” and go nappy.

I am home again to live,and Black folk think I am still crazy now for wearing locks. They wonder why would an intelligent sane woman choose to wear locks.

So, in many ways, time stands still. Its deep!

Ruby Sales

Nappy hair does not define black women. My co-worker is white and hair is nappier than mine…

Sigh.. How do we know malia and sashas hair is permed.. I think it’s blown and curl for a different look. My hair is natural.. NO RELAXER and when i wash it and let it dry naturally is’t curly when I blow it dry it’s straight.. case closed. Women are so jealous and shallow of two beautiful girlsl..It’s sick and it’s sad.

i have seen many posts where mothers of boys say that since they are mothers, they don’t have to deal with this issue. but i want to ask is that really true? it seems that the acceptance of men to our natural beauty might help us to embrace who we are. ideally, we should be strong enough to be who we are, with or without approval, but when you are 30ish and unmarried, and you look around at who is married, and compare, sometimes, you think about making changes, to achieve marital bliss*as jacked up as that it)….BUT my question is do moms of little boys have a responsibility to cultivate the appreciation of aftocentric beauty, just like they have a responsibility to raise young men not to hit girls, or open the door for a young lady? would that help us love our hair in its natural state?

@Rev
Yes, the Seniority Factor helps you get away with stuff. But so does you’re “I-don’t-care. I’m-a-grown-woman” Factor.

If anybody looked back at all the pictures of Obama and Michele, they might not conclude that our precious young ladies have lay down hair. This isn’t specifically about their hair, it’s bigger, so let me go there…If the FAMILY did not LOOK like they did, the FAMILY would not be all over all of the magazines even if they were on the way to the White House. A few friends of mine have joked that they would have been left out of that family picture. Think of the Black families you have seen plastered across the media. Not the Sharptons. The Huxtables (though they pushed it with Denise and Sandra). Pretty people get pictures taken, and ‘pretty’ is defined by whoever owns the camera and the paper.

@Tess
Yes, it would. Have we heard “Don’t bring her(him) home if he(she) can’t use your comb.”? Boys are influenced by their mommas and want to bring home somebody their parents think will have pretty babies (hair included). Especially if his family has a certain type of hair. Some of us women are responding to the waves on the brothers heads like the men are responding to the straight hair or ‘good hair’ on the sister’s heads. You know I attract a different brother with my press than with my twists or with long tresses than my short sweet do. The Shock Factor (how he responds when one day I’m straight and the other Angela Davis or Freddie Brooks) is a turning point in our dating. When I find the one who likes all my multiple hair personalities, I’ll keep him. There is timidity about hair just like weight and body shape when it comes to men. We front a lot.

Fal’s right about politic and power for hair. There are even levels of ‘okay’ naturalness, or there would not be a need for texturizers. Anybody looked at Oprah’s viewership when she’s straight and when she’s ‘natural-like’? Compared reviews on Beyonce/Jill/Erykah’s videos when hair is in various stages?

I can’t image what the Asian retail economy looks like based on our White-handicapped concept of beauty. Maybe they are working together…

@Miss Kim

It is possible that the girls’ hair is blown out and then curled, yes. It does not, however, follow that the question about how their hair and other young black girls’ hair is treated (or processed) is shallow. And what makes you think that anyone is “jealous” of their “beauty”? We are talking about their straight hair, which neither makes them more nor less beautiful.

The fact that Renita’s comments have engendered such passionate response is itself a sign of how much is at stake for black women where our hair is concerned. That’s what the post is about.

It is also true, from my perspective, that we ought to look critically at the often painful and maybe even harmful effects of our “beauty” standards. What does it teach our girls when we focus on “taming” their “unruly” hair, especially when we allow their brothers’ hair simply to be what it is? What does it mean that most black women my age have permanent scars from hot curlers and hot combs that have accidentally touched our ears and necks? What does it mean even that our “special occasion” hair (for Easter or campaign pictures) is straight rather than kinky, curled rather than braided?

Thanks, again, Renita for putting it out there.

this is definitely an emotional subject for all the women of the african diaspora. i think that hair makes many statements and i agree with fal on that subject.

growing up, my mother kept my sister, her hair and mine natural. i had never had a relaxer until i got to the states. i decided to relax my hair because it was not easy to find somebody to braid my hair (free) on campus. well, it did not turn out to be that much easier and i went back to my early childhood short hair. i went from short to extremely short until very recently.

the extremely short hair brought a lot of attention. i had may women asking me out thinking that i was a lesbian. i dated men who put a lot of energy into trying to convince me to grow my hair. the shortness of my hair was also the subject of many family discussions.

now, i am growing back my hair into locks which has “scared” more than one of my classmates, professors, and patients (i am one of two black girls in my dental school class and my sister friend wears her hair in a cute relaxed cut). my father likes my new hair style. my sister (now with relaxed hair/extension hair) and my brothers continue to debate the subject. my mother (still with natural short hair) did not comment.

personally, i prefer my hair natural. i believe that it is important for little girls’ hair to be kept natural particularly as i think of the history of black women’ s body and image politics. i know that people make many assumptions from hair styles and i have chose my latest hairdo in full awareness.

i forgot to write that this is a subject right on point dr. weems. thank you!

@Miss Kim- How can you take the topic of black hair and all its complexity and chalk it up to black women being jealous?
Let’s not forget that weaves come in kinky textures too so the issue is a lot more layered than you have presented it.
I don’t resent other black sisters for the texture or length of their hair. With a little heat I can wear my hair in any style and texture I want anyhow. I do resent the fact that kinky hair is often considered “unkept” or “not good” by society in general. That has to change.

when i was little, my hair was natural until i was in high school. my thick hair allowed my mom to cornrow it and it lasted for two weeks. i still have flashbacks to hold my ears when she would straigthen it for holidays. i gave up my perm when i entered graduate school. ive been natural for ten years. i love my hair. i love my hair. i love my hair. i think kids just have to realize that their natural hair is beautiful. your hair can be braided, twisted, nappy fro, blown out fro, and straightened. maybe if the girls see all the options they will appreciate their beauty more.

Miss Kim,

It’s a bit simplistic to talk about jealousy concerning this issue. There is a difference between one who has naturally straight hair and one who doesn’t but tries to exclusively achieve that look. So contrary to popular belief, there are women who feel that their natural hair is beautiful, as they should. Speaking myself as a woman who always had what black folk called long, “good hair,” there is no reason for other women to be jealous.

I have very unplesant memories about hair. I had long very thick hair which is now silver, but the thought of getting my hair washed would have me crying hours before my mother got started. My hair was never dry enough by the time the strighting comb came out and the steam burning mt scalp would have me crying hours after she finished. I got a perm at seventeen. When my best friend entered Senton Hall her father try to bribe her into relaxing her hair by offerng her a car, she still wears her hair natural and her mother use to say we sent you to that school to get cultured and you came back an African. We often laugh about their thinking. I’m lookng at pictures of old r&b singers back in the day who are all men and had marcels or processed hair, i’m wondering what happened in our culture that convinced us that our natural hair is not acceptable. I agree with Fal also in that how ever we choose to wear our hair should be a personal choice. I feel bad when i see my granddaughters begging to have their hair permed and weaved, but they’ll have to wait until 18 then they can do whatever they choose.

I remember being called nappy head wooley head because my mother didn’t get my hair stright (just got the kinks out)and gave me a fifty pound bang, that’s in every school picture. When i would complain about how dumb i thought i looked she would say “it’s not what’s on you head that makes you dumb it’s what’s in it”. But hair mattered then if you were dark skinned and had short hair you were an outcast and God forbid you were fat, (now referred to as thick)my friend that died many years ago fit that description, she never knew that there would be a day when she would have been called an Ebony Princess,I wish that we as women could teach our girls to treat each other with respect regardless of how they look or dress or how much they weigh, because in the end all we have is each other.

AS A WOMAN WITH NATURAL HAIR I’M NOT SURPRISED ONLY WOMEN ARE CONCERNED ABOUT SUCH TRIVIAL NONSENSE AS SOMEONE ELSES PREFERENCE FOR THIER HAIR TEXTURE. No wonder our children are failing in school we are too concern about thier playmates hair texture.

Hello Rev. Weems,
I haven’t had a chance to read through all of the comments yet, so I hope I am not redundant. My contribution to the discussion is to say the answer can be yes, there is a issue with nappy hair and African American women’s self-image, and no, there is nothing wrong with the Obama girls as they appeared on the cover of Essence.
I remember as a little girl, wearing my hair straightened was reserved for special occasions like Easter, (just now I laughed out loud about my personal association of Christ with the pressing comb!). Certainly being on the cover of a magazine, or attending an important rally warrants a hair pressing session, in my opinion; however, specially styled cornrows would have been just as acceptable.
I disagree with girls getting relaxers in their hair. I think teaching a child how to care for their natural hair is an important part of parenting in black families. My great-grandmother had a word for little girls who wore perms in their hair– Cabbage-Head Ladies! I have a big smile on my face right now thinking about her saying that! Thanks for making us think about this topic.

@ kiki
i was not invalidating your experience, but attempting to share in it. was i welcome to do that? is it okay for me wanting to share in it?

i saw two stunning black women last night that shared my hair texture and i exchanged JOY with them over that. i was emphasizing my LOVE for my hair despite its unconventional texture, and my LOVE for sharing in the experience of kinky, hair in every direction, curly and HUGE, maybe even like a black woman’s hair.

form that common bond with me, that’s all i’m asking for: an extension, a sharing, of joy and grief. put down the armor, the facade; open those arms wide and embrace me, black or white. i would never sit here and trivialize your experience (or anyone elses), i want to share in it. i was/am asking to share in it.

I am sorry my sisters, but I am a proud perm-wearing Black woman. I make sure I get a touchup every four weeks despite advice that it it is not healthy because I have EXTREMELY tender scalp.I spent much of my childhood and adolescence in tears as my mother tried everything in the world to lessen the pain while combing my hair, including homemade mayonnaise conditioner, etc, but to no avail.(She did not have this same problem and has always been natural and beautiful)If by chance I miss my appointment and I end up going for the touchup at week five, my hairdresser will attest that I am flinching and in tears like an eight year old. So,I am sorry if my straight hair offends you.

Now, regarding my little princess, she has extremely thick hair that has both bulk and length and is more than a notion to manage. She looks absolutely fabulous natural and does not have a tender scalp. When she was younger I had nieces who lived nearby who regularly styled her hair, braids, watercurls, etc. However, last year we moved away from that support base and I started a job that is extremely demanding and takes me away from home quite often. With hair that will creep out of braids within two days and is way too thick for her or my husband to manage, we made the decision earlier this year to straighten her hair based solely on manageability, not acceptability. She was not made to feel like she looked any better because of this and quite happily reverted to her natural state during the summer when there was more time available and she went “home” to visit and be pampered by her cousins who love to “do” hair.
To hear the majority of you pass a judgement on the decision to straighten the Obama young ladies’ hair is quite interesting. Maybe, just maybe, as we move toward November with the increasing demands on the time of the entire Obama family, it was a decision based more on convenience than political expedience.

P.S. And let’s not even begin to talk about the astronomical cost of the professional upkeep of natural hair and the exploitation in the hair industry. If you sisters with locks can spend those hours with somebody tuggin’ on your head for a “natural” look and are willing to spend that amount of money and time, more power to you. Let’s not be so hard on the rest of us, what’s in our head and heart is way more important than what is on it.

Miss Kim, welcome to cyberdialogue.

Don’t mistake passion for this topic for a lack of passion for other topics.

There are those of us who will go to the mat with you about natural hair and will go to the mat with you about our children failing in school.

First we must change our mindset by not referring to our hair texture as ‘nappy’. We aren’t sheep and our hair is not shaved to become yarn. I too was shocked when I first received my magazine in the mail. That was the first thing that I noticed is how they changed the appearance of the children. I love my hair and have loved it since I’ve been born. I don’t have a problem with what God gave me… only others do. When we allow children to see their true beauty in who they are, only then will they have a positive self-esteem and self-identity of themselves only they can define. The diversity of the black woman’s beauty is hardly ever shown by any imagery be it the mainstream media or the black owned media. When we go against nature we will never win. It saddens me when I see women whose hair is so thin from years of perming their hair attempting to style what’s left, when they can just let it be the way it is suppose to be. I’ve always hated the perm and the hot comb because to me that was pure torture.

ha, funny coincidence, I just got my hair pressed yesterday for first time in I don’t know how long - years. not b/c I was dying to, there’s a new salon near my office so I figured I’d try her out. usually time and money don’t permit salon visits. for me it’s not a permanent change, but a different look for a while. the stylist was trying to feed me a bunch of BS about how much better (trained) my hair would be if I straightened it regularly, I sat there thinking to myself ‘yeah right.’

@Stephanie, I am very pleased that you are here to offer share your experience and perspective. I get the sense that many of us are here not just to enjoy ourselves but also to examine ourselves and I hope that your feeling welcome is not contingent on having everyone embrace everything you say or one persons comment for that matter. Perhaps most importantly, I do not believe that black, white, & Biracial (etc) women need to share every life experience in order to be friends and allies. I think it’s good and productive to talk about differences and why those differences exist to begin with.

@ Stephanie, I have to admit something else bothers me about your response. I embrace all women, any color, BUT I do not neccessarily have to embrace what comes out of her mouth. Reread my post, I responded to your words and ideas, I didn’t comment on your character.

To be more specific, it’s great to talk about our commonalities, however when we only focus on commonalities often times the differences get glossed over. So my unique experiences as a black women may end up getting glossed over, ignored, or silenced altogether. So when I point out the differneces, people may accuse me of being angry and on guard. I am automatically encouraged to stop being so combative, and/or in your words to “put down my armor and my facade.” it makes me ask myself, where else can I voice my frustrations about black hair and all that it entails if not on blog specifically about black hair?

Unkept hair story…my daughter’s hair no matter how nicely braided those tiny little plats are get fuzzy within a day or so. I’ve decided to roll with it and let her be a little girl. My own locs are fuzzy at the moment …to the disappointment of my maternal grandmother..who has never liked my hair and in her “I’m a senior citizen and I can say whatever I wanna say” style asked me this weekend “When I was going to do something about my nappy hair?”…I’ve had natural hair for 12 years..this is not new…

@Tess, ‘mothers of boys say … that they don’t have to deal with this issue.’ “Is that really true?” It most certainly IS NOT true. I am the mother of 2 boys; no daughters. My youngest son has thin, curly hair. My eldest has thick, curlier hair. My eldest was born during the time when kids wore the “high-top fade” like Will Smith. At 16 I allowed his decision to rock his natural hair, let it grow out and, eventually, wear braids. Folk thought I’d lost control of my son, surely he was being defiant, does he know what “people” think? He graduated with Honors from high school and will graduate from the Dental School of Meharry Medical College next year. When I allowed my youngest son’s curls to grow out, I constantly heard, “When you gonna let that boy look like a boy?” The first negative hurtles they’ve had to battle with acceptance of their choice of hair styles have been with people of their own ethnicity. I pray both my young men have a strong sense of self-esteem and self-worth because, yes, it’s “darn if they do and darn if they don’t”.

@ kiki, i don’t know who you are or exactly where you’ve been, but you’ve just brought tears to my eyes. i want you to know how completely unwelcome you’ve made me feel—a space that i’ve been visiting regularly for years that i will no longer invade.

@ renita, thank you for your many inspirations and your many shared wisdoms. you have been such a wise influence to me. all the very best.

I should have stepped in before now, but I didn’t because I thought it was a harmless misunderstanding that would blow over. Sorry for my lapse.

Let’s not hijack this blog piece about hair and make it into a race war.

Stephanie Alaine why are you tearing up and retreating because of Kiki’s comments? when Kiki isn’t the owner of this blog. I am, and you’ve never felt unwelcome here on this blog before now. As long as you could take the heat as a white woman, you’ve been welcome. And until now, you’ve done just that. Did any other woman on this blog respond the way Kiki did to your comments. Then, why are you falling apart? You’re apt to loose a lot of friends here if you take this posture: http://www.somethingwithin.com/blog/?p=98.

Kiki,
I thought your first response to Stephanie Alaine’s comment presumed more about her character and motives than was there in her comments, but things like this happen in cyberdialogue and usually blow over. It’s the price of dialogue, I rationalized. But you’ve made your point now.

Let’s all move on.

Yes, let’s move on. Little black girls are being raped/killed by their mother’s boyfriends. No one will be looking at their hair….

@WIT

We’re moving on, but it’s not because the topic of hair is not important. Hair. Self-esteem.

And if you don’t get that,…let me stop before I am the one who’s accused of hurting someone’s feeling. After all, you and I are not rapists. We can’t actually say what makes a rapist target one girl over another to be his victim. But you and I do know that feeling good about yourself (especially your natural self) has a lot to do with your healing after tragedy.

@Rev. Angela—
LOL! That must be the universal response to sisters who transition to loc’d! What is always soo funny is that when I tell folks “no.” to touching my hair they seem genuinely surprised. When they insist, I give them that “eye” that only black women wield with such don’t-mess-with-me-child clarity (second of course to the neck roll, teeth suck, eye roll, z-snap or talk to the hand!). Then there is the case of my southern mama who, while still grappling with my being (dark, lesbian, preacher, and loc’d) told me when I began loc’ing three feet of locs ago that I would never preach again with “that sh*t in my head” still turns her nose up whenever someone compliments my hair. She so vehemently despises that I loc’d vs. permed my big old head of hair that her disdain spilled over onto my son. When he visited her the summer he was 8yo sporting chin-length locs she shaved his head bald the day before she put him on the plane back to me! Imagine that conversation – for the ensuing five years – regarding distrust, abuse, bullying, and barrage of imprecatory prayers of what I would do if said “heffa” was not my mother!!!

Now 16yo my son has regrown his locs to shoulder length and rocks them like the prince he is – evidently, in his ancestral tribe they loc’d! When my son was not accepted into his first choice for boarding high school because he has locs, mother seized the opportunity to berate me on the hair matter and told everyone who would listen that I was sabotaging my son’s success over “that damn hair.” By this time, all I could say to her was, “breathe, baby, breathe!” [Wouldn’t say that time healed the wound; but realized that day that I grew up into being my son’s mother without needing a jury of family to determine for me what was best/good/ok for us.] These days, she is pretty much silent on the matter since son is an AP/Honors student in an A Better Chance program on the East coast; and since I am usually taking a nap after preaching on Sunday afternoons when she calls…

@Sistah Y—
“I also make it a point to tell my girls they look good whether their hair is all over their head – right after a wash and blow dry –or after it is perfectly groomed.” Sometimes “all over their head” is indeed “perfectly groomed” if we allow it to be without caveat that these ideas are dichotomies (ie., sculpted afros, black European supermodels). Perhaps by naming, we can redefine what perfectly groomed is to be to our daughters.

@T—
I.A’s song sings well, but I’d no more separate form or define my being apart from my hair than I would apart from my lips and hips, predilection for grits and sweet tea, tambourine playing or rocking praying. All of us defines us. I long dreamed of loc’ing and only delayed such until I figured out how to start, groom and style them. I have worn my hair plaited, cornrow’d, pressed, curled, permed, faded, ‘fro’d, braided. Loc’d is the only way in which I have felt most whole and synergized with my self image. With locs, I have never had a bad hair day! LOL! Additionally, I have never dyed my hair… but give space to appreciate the sisters who sport those cherry bomb red locs (loc’d or straight or weaved)! Just a thought, when creating us, I can’t imagine God regarded the detail of our hair to be an afterthought or happenschance. We are a whole lot, including our hair.

And last, but by no means least @ Renita—
“Let’s just say: Dr. Weems is ….a self-possessed woman?.” Honey hush! That’s why you been ma-gurl long time …since you were just at LuraMedia!!! This is quite a rich thread and always a great read – like big girl talk over fresh berries and wine at a sleepover! So yeah, rock your twists, natural, scarf’d, long, short, whateva’! Just keep making us think. Live liberated. Love liberation.

Wow I missed this originally. Black hair. . . I think that you have to grow and mature to get okay with your natural hair if you problems before. I permed my for 27 years. Now I am all natural, but press it and some days wash and wear it in its naturally curly state. I enjoy my hair. . . I didn’t all those permed straight as a bone, blow dryed or wrapped corporate white girl days. I like my natural curly hair. What drove me to natural was the endless cycle of breakage and grow back. Tried a wig and a weave for a moment, but no go. It took 6 months of braids every six weeks and then a nice flat iron and curl do. I discovered that it takes the same amount of time to wash, blow and flat iron as the wash and set under the dryer for an hour permed hair. The cost to do it my self is nothing but time and I used the money that I use to spend at the salon for massages and a housekeeper. I am loving life at 50!

What difference does it make to me that the Obama girls have permed or pressed hair? Not one bit of difference.

I wear a short fro, and I’ve worn a fro for more than 25 years. The only dissatisfaction I’ve gotten over my choice for wearing my hair natural has come from other Black folk. Why is that?

It doesn’t matter how you wear your hair as long as you are comfortable wearing it the way you do.

…with all due respect nothing I’ve said on this topic differed drastically in content from anything anybody else said. In particular, my sentiments were echoed by Fal (in a far more careful and articulate manner) when she talked about hair not “occuring in a vacuum” and the idea that all kinky hair is stigmatized because of its association with blackness. In retrospect, perhaps
my mistake was addressing Ms. Stephanie directly. AND our fundamental disagreement boiled down to this: WHEN AND WHERE is it most appropriate to talk about commonalities versus differences? She wanted us to reflect on “commonalities” and my comment redirected our attention back to talking about “differences” which made her feel unwelcome.

@Stephanie. That was not my intention. I apologize to you and to anyone who feels personally attacked by what I say. Apart from the fact that this is not my blog, above all, I regret that someone granted my words so much power beyond anything that they may have had to say. I believe that EVERY voice matters which is why I’ve gotten into the habit of making sure mine is heard. Please don’t leave a blog you’ve enjoyed for so long on the account of me!

@Dr Weems I’m truly sorry for taking up so much space. It won’t happen again

if we actually study history we will find that women in africa were the first to straighten their hair. this was prior to colonization. then during slavery when the masters would shove the african’s heads in the mop water as punishment the lye from the cleaning chemicals would straighten their hair to some degree. i learned this from a well educated black female professor of african/african-american history who wore a natural and taught folks that straight hair is just as afro-centric as an afro.

most black people perm their kids hair to make it more “manageable” and more VERSATILE. after a while you get tired of hearing “ouch!….don’t comb it so hard…it hurts.”

but seriously on the real…most black women i know straighten their kids hair so their kids will look like all the other little black KIDS!

sorry..i’ve had this debate too many times with too many black folks and it’s getting very old……well, i need to go so i can flat-iron my hair before i go to work!

@Natalie

Please.Don’t. Not the old “black women in africa were the first to come up with lye for the hair” story.

Your ignorance is showing. Flat ironing hair doesn’t give “versatility” or “manageability.” It simply gives you flat ironed hair. That’s all.

Our natural hair is just as versatile and manageable — and we don’t have the burnt smell of the flat iron and don’t have to run from rain and fear a good sweat from working out.

Black women have just been slaves to European hair grooming for so long that we don’t know the products and techniques required to groom and care for our own natural hair with ease. That information is out there is you care to look it up.

I absolutely love this topic because it engenders so much passion! I’m in complete agreement with Dr. Weems, that hair does matter to black women…whether we realize it or not. Many may say that they like it straight because its more manageable, but I’ve found the truth to be, we as a people don’t know how to many our natural hair. It’s not necessarily difficult, but it’s different. A woman can’t use the same combs and products that she’d use on straight hair with natural hair. The textures are different!

As for the Obama’s, yes I love them dearly, but I was disappointed to see Malia & Sasha’s press & curl on the Essence cover but not surprised. I am glad to see that they do wear other natural styles yet are always referred to as beautiful and adorable.

We perm our daughters hair because we’ve been taught that it’s prettier and easier to maintain than natural hair. In my eyes, that’s just a lie! I’ve come to understand that in this country Willie Lynch is largely responsible for the hatred black Americans feel for themselves. We’ve been taught to hate anything that reminds us of blackness and afrocentricity. 2 1/2 centuries of slavery & semi-slavery have reinforced this notion…there are many concrete reasons why so many of us think that permed and straightened hair is easier and prettier!

I’m not aware of another ethnic group that does thisto their children to the extent that we do, I’ve heard of Jews pressing and straightening their hair but not quite like us.

I believe that we can help our children by increasing our consciousness and theirs about the history behind why so many worship long, flowing straight hair. Plus, like many others have mentioned, we’ve got to embrace natural hair against the grain of society and ROCK IT CONFIDENTLY! Just how God intended us to!

“His/Her head is the finest gold; his/her locks are bushy, black as a raven.” -Song of Solomon 5:11

with all due respect renita, i did not say women in africa used lye to straighten their hair. women in africa did straighten their hair by means other than the use of chemicals. as for the “your ignorance is showing” comment…huummm not sure where that came from, my folks never made comments like that around the kitchen table.

not everyone one who flat irons their hair walks around smelling like burnt hair. as for running in out of the rain well, when my hair has been natural for about 3 years and when it rains, it looks wet because it hold moisture. i don’t like this look nor do i like the frizzy look. my hair-my preference. when it was permed i didn’t have to fight with it.

as for doing natural hair and reviewing information that’s out there……my 7y.o daughter rocks braids and beads on a daily and my 10 y.o daughter has dreads (their choice not mine). i drop them off at peaches’ house every 2 weeks so they can get their hair tightened. they think my hair looks wild because it’s straight in some spots, curly in others and tightly curled in others. i don’t have time to match the curl patters all over my head, it’s just easier to flat-iron all of it or blow dry it straight. i cut it short 2 years ago and i looked like a shaved poodle…..not the look i was going for.

as for black women being slaves to european hair grooming. that’s a matter of opinion not total fact. there are many black women who love their african “roots” and perm their hair and wear their hair straight. for some it’s a matter of preference not a sign of internalized euro-centric standards of beauty. i’m not giving white folks that much credit. i know a lot of black women who wear naturals and are still raising their children to be “good little white people.”

as for hair being a political statement…..the only political statement my girls are making is this “we are not down with mama combing our hair everyday. there are other things we’d like to do with our time.” now don’t get me wrong, my 7 y.o has informed me that for the holiday program at her school she wants to wear her hair down and curled like sasha wore her hair the night of the election. so the braids will be coming out for a while!

I’ve seen them with nappy hair twice since this photo.

Like my mother, Obama’s daughters are a quarter-white, so more likely than not, all it takes is a quick blow dry to get their hair that straight. But the question you raise about showing all-natural black hair as a positive thing is a very good one. Still, Black hair varies just as the different tones of our skin. There’s the looser curls some have, waves for others, and the thick-break-a-comb-in-it-naps many of us are blessed with. But with the heavy caste system we live in in this country, it will take much more than the Obama girls strutting about with afros to keep so many of us from pressing and relaxing the hair of our youth. The hope lies in aging. As a child, big loose curls or bone straight were the styles (still are), and it wasn’t until I was in my twenties before I said to hell with it, cut off my perm, and started rocking my naps. Easily the best hairstyle I’ve ever had. So versatile, so much fun to play with. There are far too many poor images of us (blacks, women, black women) out there. What we have to do is set the record straight on an individual level. Show our children what truly beautiful hair they have. So what if they can’t make their locks look the way it does on magazine covers; but we can make it look way better. No hair has the creative stamina that African hair has. So, brush out those naps, get to braiding, twisting, locking, and beading. It’s hard work, but it’ll give your daughter/son a better feeling about themselves when they go out with their hair freshly done and so very unique.

It’s what we’re taught. Out past ancestors thought it best to CHANGE our hair and that passed down to all of us. No one thought to challenge it, you know? That’s what’s so great about the information age we live in. Because of blogs and sites i’ve discoved I’ve decided yo go natural whilt my ister and mom think I’m out my mind. They won’t EVEN believe me when I tell them that black hair is naturally curly and it naps up because of all hair types ours is the most curly so it curlys up on itself.Even though I did my research and they still won’t belive me when I tell them that I KNOW what I’m talking about, I’ve DONE the research and it ALWAYS says the same thing. So the problem is really just a lack of information on our parts. When they say Knowledge is power, it’s no joke. Knowing is the key.
Here are a few hair blogs I love just in case anyone’s interested:
curlynikki.com (that’s my favorite one)
brownskin3.blogspot.com/ ( I just dicovedred this one today!! most of it’s in french but it’s got nice pics and things)
biracialhair.org (biracial hair is the same thing. I don’t know why I use to belive that people mixed with white have curly hair because of their white blood. White people have straight hair. If anything that mixture gives you a looser curl pattern)
coarsehairdiaries.com
naturallyvoguish.com
http://hairspiration.blogspot.com/ (I also discovered this one today and I’m in love with this site!! The pics show another side of nappy. The gorgeous, glamorous side)

All I’m saying is do your research and you WILL be surprised.

our generation now a days consists of girls perming their hair its not because we’re not necessarily unhappy with what god gave us its more because of a lot of us not having the face or even the body to be walking around with nappy hair and people just like what they like